Tessa is a family friend, and we’ve basically known each other our whole lives– her parents, and my dad, all met each other here at Wesleyan. Her family has come to every single Passover seder that my family has hosted, and they’ve come to each of mine and my siblings’ b’nei mitzvah, and we all went to hers.
I wanted to reach out to her for this project for a couple reasons: Our families are very similar in our practices of Judaism, celebrating the major holidays and attending and having b’nei mitzvah ceremonies, but not much else. I also particularly remember how beautiful her tallit is, so I was excited for the opportunity to chat with her about it.
Sam: Would you mind just starting out by telling me a bit about your tallit? How did you get the one you have now, what sort of thought process did you have when you got it (if you chose it yourself)?
Tessa: “Yeah, so my parents were the one to actually buy it in the end, but before they did we all looked online at different designs to see what I might like. Mine has a tree design, representing life and all that, which I thought was really beautiful, and was kind of perfect for becoming a Jewish “adult”, as I was growing into my own person and living my own life.”
Sam: Were there any other aspects of the design that were important to you? Did you kind of have an idea of what you wanted before you started looking?
Tessa: “I didn’t really know what I wanted before I started looking. All I knew it that I wanted something beautiful that I could always keep. The design is very simple, just a pomegranate tree (the symbolism of pomegranates in Judaism also appealed to me) which I liked. A lot of other I saw that had some sort of tree design looked kind of tacky or not very unique, and I wanted something that I hadn’t really seen and felt special to me.”
Sam: I love that. I remember seeing some designs that I was like eh too basic. Like I definitely wanted something cool and bit more unique than your typical tallit that you’d see around. Was it important to you to have a tallit? Like whose idea was it to get one, or did your temple require wearing one?
Tessa: “I don’t really remember if it was required, but I feel like by having a bat mitzvah it was just a given that I would also have a tallit. But to me it also symbolizes a part of my identity, because even if I’m not really religious, it’s still a part of me that I want to always acknowledge. So I guess I kind of always thought I would have one, and I was just more focused on choosing what it would look like.”
Sam: Totally, I think I felt the same way I was like “this is gonna make me look legit.”
Tessa: “Exactly. It made it like perfect and real”
Sam: So do you still wear yours now, after your bat mitzvah?
Tessa: “I haven’t really other than for any bar or bay mitzvahs I’ve been too, especially if I’m going up to speak. And because of COVID since my bat mitzvah there hasn’t been many other opportunities to wear it.”
Sam: I feel the same way. I think mine is in drawer somewhere
Tessa: “That’s where mine lives too.”
Sam: Do you store it in any special way?
Tessa: “It has a bag made out of the same material as it that the tallit goes in, but other than that nothing special”
Sam: Do you make sure it goes back into the bag after you use it?
Tessa: “Yup I fold it up carefully and just put it back the bag.”
Sam: Why?
Tessa: “It’s special so I don’t want it to get super wrinkly (other than the folds I guess), and it’s an easy way to store it. It could get damaged or something if I just left it out, and I don’t want that to happen.”
Sam: Tell me more about that caring for it, how do you think about the value of your tallit and it’s significance to you, as something that you want to keep well maintained?
Tessa: “It’s something that symbolizes a big moment in my life that I want to remember forever. Having the tallit is one of the only pieces of physical proof that I had my bat mitzvah, and I’d like to honor that. I feel like it’s something I want to have to look back on a long time from now, and the tallit is a beautiful way to hold that memory. Having it also makes me feel more connected to my Jewish side that isn’t as prominent day to day.”
Sam: Yeah definitely, it’s like a token that has a lot of personal memories, while at the same time it kind of connects us to a larger community.
Tessa: “Exactly.”
Sam: Because so many people have one and it’s a way of showing you’re a part of that too.
Tessa: “Yeah that’s exactly how I feel.”
Sam: You mentioned that your tallit has a pomegranate and how you feel connected to that symbol, would you mind explaining that a bit more?
Tessa: “Well the pomegranates symbolize lots of things, but one of the main things is love, and I think that, along with the tree which symbolizes life, is kind of what I want for my future. It’s more of me trying to manifest a happy life full of love I think.”
